It Keeps Me Hanging On

The trend in art journaling - at least from what I've seen - is to show only happy stuff.  I've seen comments that say that some artists won't ever show their real feelings in public, and that they're impatient with blog posts that talk about the sad and bad.

Sorry about that because this post is about sad and bad.  Regular readers of this blog know of my continuing battle with mental illness and that I've been in a dark period.  As such, the pages I'm showing this week reflect that.  Feel free to find something happier if you so choose.

Yes, the above is a bit confrontational but it is how I feel about the trend.  Yes, there's a lot of negativity in the world but it's not going to go away if one averts their eyes.  Confronting it helps to control it and do something about it.  Which is why I do art about what I'm dealing with.

That said, what I'm showing you starts out with a mish-mosh of paint.  Actually, when I did the actual painting I was really having fun.  Not really caring about whether or not the colors mesh, whether or not it looks organized - it was a matter of planting down stencils and splashing paint on them.  And I like the effect as they are actually.

I think these could be used as backgrounds for a lot of things actually, but then I went and spoiled them with depressing journaling.

Spread One says exactly how I feel about honesty about my life.  For decades I denied that there was something wrong.  In 2009 I had a serious breakdown and it's been since then that I've admitted to my mental illness, and sought serious ongoing treatment.  My breakdown happened in a work environment, thus eliminating one thing people fear - that one's employers will find out.  After that there was no point in hiding it.

The spread is simple - my journaling plus the image of a young girl.  I feel that adding anything else will minimize how I feel.

Spread Two takes a quote from a favorite song, "Time," by a favorite band (Pink Floyd).  I toyed with some of the lyrics, and changed "the English way" to "Lin's daily way."  I paired it with a contemplative Victorian woman image and with a vintage clock, and left it as is.  To add anything else would once again minimize the impact of what I've done.

This work is in my so-called 'private' journal, not one of the two I'm exchanging with my friend Lisa.  Even so, I still am sharing it.

It really is OK to express one's honest feelings in an art journal - and it's OK to share it.  I won't mind.

later,
lin

This is NOT About Halloween

I suppose most people writing blog posts today will be all about Halloween.  This post won't be.  I have nothing against Halloween - I'm just indifferent to it for the most part.  I do remember the costumes my mother made for us quite fondly, though.  And candy.  Definitely candy.

I would change kids to cats here

No, this post is once again about art journaling, because that's where I've devoted a lot of time and energy lately.  I'm really trying to make it an area where I'm thinking about things.  I might think too much but it's fine with me.  I also seem to be spending too much time and energy cleaning and organizing, but let's not go there.  

(non sequitur - this post is being written while listening to Beethoven's 9th Symphony - glorious)

Back to the point, ahem.  the journal exchange Lisa and I are doing is still in full swing and I just wanted to show you what I've done recently.  As I think I've said, I usually don't have a plan when I do the journals.  I'm making myself play (kind of a contradiction in terms) because I have a bad habit of sticking to tried and true.  And even in the journals you'll see that.  However, I'm breaking out of the bonds of sameness ever so slowly.  Like molasses.

So here you have the early stages (I have no idea which journal these pages belong to as the journals are packed and ready to go back to Texas)

The left page has a a paper foreground of punchinella-style white paper over a red bronze paint background.  On the right, a very thin, delicate webby type paper was used. On the background I used things like jar openers to create texture but I thought it'd be more fun to use the webby paper instead - both papers came from RISD's store, I think.

 I used a set of rub-ons from 7 Gypsies to add interest - I forget the name of it but it's been discontinued.  I bought a bunch of them from Lisa (she has an online shop called collagestuff.com) on clearance.  I like rub-ons better than rubber stamps, actually since I never seem to stamp properly without leaving marks that shouldn't be there.

I then added a bunch of stuff to the left page.  The "Work Hard..." quote comes from a postcard advertising the recent Pawtucket (RI) Arts Festival, a month-long celebration of the arts held every September in this industrial city trying hard to find an identity (and the city where I was born, incidentally).

Obligatory cute picture of cat

As usual I have my helper - if you want to call him that.  He and I were playing a game of "who gets the chair first?"  Doesn't matter that he has four chairs to choose from - he wants the one I'm using, and so each time I get up to find something (a neverending activity), he sits on my chair.  Doesn't mind being turfed off it though.

The final result of the second page is something I quite like.  It's weird, like myself, and perhaps I need to do a larger version of him.  He's so serious yet he's flying around attached to a card from a game called "Flinch," which I've never heard of but you can read about it here.  

I think the wings might be too small for the weight of the card, though.  He's wearing a deerstalker hat too, though I think he's probably wearing it wrong.

So there you have this week's art journal session.  What do you think?

later,
lin

A Rant About Art Journals

I recently read a blog post by Quinn MacDonald, (find it here) someone who I really recommend as a thoughtful and interesting writer who truly says what she thinks, no matter if it might against prevailing opinion.  She wrote about taking a break from art journaling 

I'm back to using my Commonplace Journal. The one that holds all the facts, ideas, quotes that pile up in my days. It's so comfortable, like a pair of shoes that are soft and still can be worn to a teaching gig. My Commonplace Journal doesn't demand painted pages, drying time, or planning. It holds whatever shows up. For me, that includes meaning-making.

I've always kept journals.  Written mostly, as most of my creative life has been spent as a writer.  But art journals have been new to me, and I'm still uncomfortable with it.  At least as far as the trend seems to be, which is to create complete works of art in a journal, rather than to work out ideas, processes, and other things.  Spreads, they're called.

I don't see a lot of original thinking, really, except by a few people who really experiment and push the envelope.  Rather I see copies of what the trending mixed media artists or art journal gurus are doing.  The same quotes (always inspirational - doesn't anyone ever feel terrible and make art about it?).  The same neon bright colors.  The same drawn faces.  The same rubber stamps.  The same stencils.  The same adhesives.  Or X person's glue, paints, paper, tools that they're selling through the same old companies.

I've been told by people, "Oh, you don't have to follow the trend.  You can do what you want."  But the pressure is on to conform.  It's unspoken maybe.  People I know tell me "Oh, watch the videos on Youtube." or "Read this blog, it'll tell what you NEED to know."

I don't need to know anything when it comes to a journal.  I just want to express myself, however I feel, the way I feel.  Make something really messy.  If I want to.  Scream if I want to.  And I realize people like inspirational quotes - I don't, especially if it's something I see in catalogs all the time.

I did try.  I did these pages in a journal that I'd glued together in a drawing journal.  I glued the pages together so that they'd be strong.  And I did the obligatory paint and stencils, and rubber stamps.  And figured out how to use stencils and how not.  And wondered why I wasn't enjoying it.

I felt constricted by the wire.  I wanted to tear the pages out.  I didn't because that wouldn't have been a REAL journal.  In fact, there's a Facebook group where the group owner dictated that any photos or scans had to show the binding, show that it was a 'real' journal.  Otherwise it was 'just' a work of art.  What the heck?  And the owner of the group is one of the 'gurus' of art journaling  so people think this is how art journaling 'is done.'

It doesn't have to be.  So one morning I cut the pages out of the drawing journal.  And I'm going to do something else with these pages.  Not sure what, but I will.  Probably cut them up and use them in a collage.

Two weeks ago, when I was working on pages for the journals I'm doing with a friend, I rejected having a plan at all.  I just threw a bunch of things into a box and  decided to take stuff from the box and glue it on the page.  Anywhere I pleased.  No rhyme, no reason.  No plan.  Just glue.  And I had a blast.  So what if the maroony glittery ribbon that I cut the wire off doesn't match the blue paper background.  So what if I made a 'mistake' and used a shade of paper I don't like.  Cover it up.

Put stuff in random spots.  Cover up part of it with something else.  And so on.

It was FUN.  If I wanted to add something, I did.  I did sort of finish the pages with an image of people because, I guess, I'm compelled to do it.  I like adding people to things.  And I like adding silly captions.  But I didn't paint anything, I didn't feel compelled to stencil things, I just glued.  

And this is one of the pages I came up with. And I love it.

In the process I worked out an idea that this is the type of collage I want to do for fun. This is MY medium.  Not rubber stamps, not stenciling.  Yes, I MAY potentially add paint. Ink.  Whatever.   I may stencil something.  I may stamp something.  Who knows?  I think this is a direction I'm going to explore on canvas.

And so, thanks to Quinn and my adventure that weekend, I know what I want to do as an art journal.  I'm not taking the 'experts' as gospel any longer and feel I've failed because I'm not doing what they do.  I will continue using journals with spiral bindings - in fact I just made one that I need to fix up for the journal exchange I mentioned earlier.  I do admit that they're easier to work in because the pages fall flat more easily than with one that has a stapled or sewn binding.  But I'm not going to feel compelled to make "matching pages" as seems to be the trend.

I'm going to keep using my cheap composition books for writing out what I'm thinking. And maybe draw in them.  Glue stuff in them - believe it or not, someone told me I should use a 'real' art journal to do art journaling in.  That composition books were really not the fashion.  I wonder what Rembrandt and Michelangelo used for their art journals - vellum, probably.  Wonder if that would have passed muster with the purists.

A page from one of Michelangelo's notebooks

I've been doing binge-watching of the PBS series "Art 21" and "Craft in America."  And I was struck by what one of the artists said, I think on a "Craft in America" episode (these are well worth finding on Netflix, or on DVDs through your local library by the way, even if you don't like what the artist is doing artistically.  I learned a lot through binging on these, though I've seen most of the episodes before).  Basically she said, what's the point of doing art if it isn't fun?

I know people have fun doing the art journaling as the 'experts' are saying to do.  I know there are others who post to the FB groups saying "I don't know how to do art journaling and I feel intimidated by what everybody's doing."  No one says to them, "do what you want."  Instead they're pointed here and there.  Why not just say "color something with crayons" or "stick paper on with glue".

In other words, there's no such thing as technique in art journaling the way I look at it.  It's just art.  It's figuring out an idea.  It's not creating according to a theme prescribed by someone else.  It's doing what YOU want to do.

So that's what I'm going to do from now on.  End of rant.

later,
lin