Odd, Peculiar and Bizarre

Those who know me best would not be surprised to hear that I've been certified as peculiar, certainly odd.  Not sure about the bizarre, though.

I'm wearing those labels proudly these days, as two of my pieces were juried into a show featuring odd, peculiar, and bizarre work.  My favorite of the two is this one, which confirms for me that this is a direction in which I want to head with my work.  I actually can't remember its name, but you can just call it odd - I'm fine with that.

These three photos are closer views of details in the piece.

 The exhibition is sponsored by the Pawtucket Arts Collaborative, and is running through late October at its Mill Gallery at 558 Mineral Spring Avenue in Pawtucket RI.  You can check the PAC website at www.pawtucketartscollaborative.org for details on the Gallery and on the group.

Some of the other pieces on exhibit that I particularly like are shown here.

Blue Baby, by Dianne Miller

A warped clock by John Ricci

A fun upcycled piece by Maryann Rossoni that uses lots of cut up expired credit cards

I really like this assemblage, but I don't have the artist's name

And finally, a piece by a friend of mine who is upset that I'm odder than he is (he only got one piece accepted into the show).

A really wild piece by Ricky Gagnon

As you can see, I'm fond of assemblage type pieces, and most of the work I was most intrigued by were collages and assemblages, though there were a couple of paintings that made me chuckle.  

Odd is in, and I'm proud to be among that number.

later,
lin

Out of All the Hours Thinking....

As I write this on Friday afternoon I am listening to a collection of Beethoven Adagios.  The dictionary defines "adagio" as a movement or composition that's to be played in a slow tempo.  Usually an adagio is part of a larger composition, such as a concerto or symphony.

Thus endeth the music lesson.

I know that classical music purists look down upon collections of disparate and unconnected classical music pieces as meant for amateur music lovers.  More "serious" classical music-aholics listen to the full composition.  Which I also do.

Find it here

When I'm experiencing psychiatric angst, I know that my two collections of Beethoven adagios, plus other collections I have of pieces by Bach, Albinoni, Mozart, or Vivaldi will soothe my soul - and mind - in a way that a full symphony won't.  I need that slowness.  

I've been in a state lately where audio and visual hallucinations, plus PTSD flashbacks, have been dominating my world, and where being around people is actually painful, as painful as some may find fingernails scraping down a chalkboard to be.  

Still from Matchbox 20's song "Unwell" 

I've been unable to be present online as often as I had been. Facebook and social media, as necessary as it is to my social and professional life, has become an incessant wall of noise that has had the same effect on me as do encounters with people in real life.  I've had to retreat. 

 I haven't been able to work on the shop.  My previous renewed energy and enthusiasm for making work to sell has come to a grinding halt, only 3 weeks after I ended a summer sabbatical I found necessary because  I was experiencing similar symptoms in May and ended up doing a course of outpatient therapy at a local hospital.

Oh yeah, the obsessional thinking too.

When I saw my therapist on Wednesday, she was concerned that stepping back from the business may be an "all or nothing" thing - a tendency of those with Borderline Personality Disorder (definition here), which is one of the psychiatric illnesses I deal with.  But she reluctantly realized that this might actually be something I have to do, to relieve self-imposed pressure for a while.  And find something else I can work on.

Which I'm doing.  Earlier this week, my friend Lisa sent back my journal and a new one she started, and I started pages in them on Thursday night.  A little bit at a time.  No pressure.

I have a show coming up at the Mill Gallery where everything has to be 10"x10." I'd already finished one piece for that, and have started another, and even might try to do a third.

And I have a project that needs to get started, a very personal, difficult project that will become a sort of "anti-scrapbook."  What I mean is that scrapbooks usually celebrate good times with introspective, sweet, happy bits of journal entries describing the events chronicled. Happy families sort of things - well, no one wants to chronicle bad times, right?

I'm planning to do the opposite in order to try exorcising the demons.  I'm not sure if I will share that particular journey.  But I think it's a project I need to try to accomplish.

I am trying to keep that creative life happening, but... you know.


I do have to say this, though.   There are those who have checked out this blog and been annoyed by my 'whining' about dealing with mental illness.  

Yet, so often people can't talk about mental illness and how it impacts their lives.  People are ashamed to write about their struggles.  People are afraid to write about the difficulties their mental illness causes.  There's a belief (too often validated) that if one talks about their mental illness, they'll be judged, ridiculed, bullied, ignored - or fired from jobs. Which sort of happened to me.  My writing about what I experience are a very small effort to try to change that.  If I'm to write about my art life, I need to be honest about what impacts it.  And my mental illness affects my life 24/7.  And my ability to create my work.

I do my best to push past the symptoms. I try to present a "shiny happy" persona.  I've been in that habit for so long, it's second nature.  Because of it, however, people mostly "can't tell" that I am mentally ill because I'm not fitting the stereotype.  So I defeat my purpose of being real about my struggles.

Behind that persona, I am often howling in a mental anguish I am too afraid to reveal.  At least face to face.

Writing about it is easier.  And at least here I'm being honest.  I think most people want honesty.  I hope they do.  But if they don't, I'm still going to keep writing posts like this.  I hope you'll stick around to read them - no offense taken if you don't.

And I'm going to continue to listen to those amateurish collections of adagios too.  

later,
lin

Nature and Emotional Turmoil

It's said that communing with nature often brings some relief to inner turmoil.

I think I can agree with that after a trek with my brother through a nature preserve near his house in Rhode Island on Talk Like a Pirate Day.  I'd planned a visit and he suggested that we visit the preserve since I'd never been.

It's the Ninigret National Wildlife Refuge and it's located in Charlestown, Rhode Island, off Post Road (Route 1).  You can read about it here.  During World War II it was a Naval air base, apparently, and supposedly President Bush #1 was a pilot there.  You can still see parts of runways and also runway markers in spots.

Will and I didn't see any land critters other than bugs, but we were followed by catbirds who were a bit annoyed by our presence, and he thought he saw hawks.

Many people might be disappointed by this refuge because there's not a lot of exciting things to see, at least not in mid September daylight.  There's not tons of flowers, for example.  But what I loved about it was that it felt like we were isolated from the rest of the world as we trekked through woods and marsh land.  Ninigret is a salt marsh so the salt air is everywhere.  

And, though a dedicated city kid, I found things I loved

Wild grapes by the side of the road

Goldenrod and other things by the trail

Holly berries (I have never seen them in the wild)

I've no clue what this is but I love it - and you can see the cove behind it

One of the old runways

Salt marsh

A tree killed by too much salt water in the ground

No clue what this is either

Goldenrod by the trail

What was most important, though, was an easing of the emotional turmoil I've been dealing with for the past few months.  As we walked, Will told me about the plant life and showed me different features of the marsh that he loved.  He walks there often as it's so close to his home and is well familiar with its history.  He identified the bird calls for me and indulged my incessant questions about what I was seeing.

I'm sorry now that I didn't take more photos - there were leaves that fascinated me but for some reason I'd felt shy about photographing anything with Will around - I'm not sure why because he knows I'm fascinated by color and texture.  But I finally took some photos. 

The sunshine, the salt air, the peacefulness worked its magic, as Will had intended.  I came home feeling more at peace than I had in a while, and I hope it lasts for a bit.  I can use a break.

later,
lin

Blog for An Anniversary

Back yard, Summer, 1961

It was 40 years ago today that you died.  I found your body and I wasn't even sure how I was supposed to feel.  You had been sick for so much of my life, and my life had been so chaotic for the 14 years I had you, that I know I was relieved that you were finally gone.  That the constant crises were over and done with.

1971

Two days later, at your funeral, I wept.  I think that was when I realized that that was it.  That I really needed you and that you weren't around any longer.  

I remember that day as being frigid cold, and that I had had to wear the fake fur coat that you and my father bought me earlier that year.  And Sister Lawrence Joseph holding on to me as I cried, not telling me to be strong, not telling me to be a big girl.

But what I remember most is what I've forgotten.  I can no longer hear your voice - but I know that, at the time of your death, it still had that German accent that I loved.  Far from being ashamed of how different your voice sounded from other people's, I loved that it was unique and set you apart.  I just can't hear it anymore.  

And I know I cannot remember your face without looking at photographs.  As Ringo Starr's song "Photograph" says, "Every time I see your face/It reminds me of the places we used to go./But all I got is a photograph/And I realize you're not coming back anymore"

And I knew that years ago, but I can still hope, can't I?  


I can't wish you a Happy Anniversary of your death - that would be odd.  But I can say that I still miss you and that some day I'll be able to pay real tribute to you in my work.  In the meantime, paying silent tribute to you in an occasional collage will have to do.




love,
linda 

Previewing Coming Attractions

Most of you guys already know that I have an Etsy shop, and that I really don't like to push my items in your face (unlike some bloggers I've seen).  However, this time I'm making an exception as I want to give you a preview of coming attractions.  By the time you read this (I usually schedule blog posts in advance) some may have been listed, others not.  In any event, they'll be appearing very soon, so I strongly urge you from the bottom of my little heart to visit my shop (found here) - the feline contingent of my business will be grateful as they are starving (they think they are anyway)

So, without further ado, here are some of the things I'll be listing very soon....

 As you can see, my sense of humor is as warped as ever.  And yes, I hate broccoli.  Along with eggplant, okra, and kiwis.  The fruit, not New Zealanders.




I did have a little girl version of this magnet, but that was given as a going-off-to-college gift to my therapist's daughter.  I might make another when I have time.









 Cats are definitely royal creatures.  I am not sure that dogs feel the same way about themselves, at least ordinary mixed breeds.  Pure breds, on the other hand, know their status and don't let you forget it.






It's not easy being in love, and this lady knows that full well.  
One of her favorite songs is Bryan Ferry's (of Roxy Music) song "Slave to Love" as that fits her life so well.




This is me in kindergarten, and no, I don't like Spam.  Do you get the idea that I'm a picky eater?





I thought the concept of a blue Christmas was perfect on a blue card.  I can just hear Elvis crooning the song in the background as this couple argues about something, probably green bean casseroles (I don't like those either)

Every cat has a wish list.  Usually food and catnip.  Maybe toys.  I like toys, especially of the art variety (hint, hint).

And speaking of green bean casseroles. ---->









Every well-dressed Victorian man needs a chainsaw.  Perhaps if someone in his club says something political he disagrees with?

There you have it.  A preview of coming attractions.  I don't decide on what the character says until after I create the actual piece.  I then look at the person and decide what they're thinking about.  Sometimes it's more serious and important, like the cat having a Christmas wish list.  The cat thinks it is anyway.  Mine includes art supplies, by the way.



As I said earlier, these may have been listed by the time you visit the shop, which you can find on Etsy at http://www.etsy.com/shop/rhodyart (a broader hint this time).  Hope you like what you see - I certainly do.  

later
lin

Celebrating Pirates and Their Wenches

Today is of course Talk Like a Pirate Day, and it's my brother's favorite holiday.  He celebrates it as his birthday. (It isn't really) In fact, he thinks it should be made a national holiday where kids get the day off from school and are able to parade down the street dressed as pirates.  He also believes that Pirate-ese should be taught in school.  This should be easy, as I think there's only five words in that language.

I have of course created a card for him that suitably observes this very important day.  It's not for sale, of course, though I may have prints made.

When I was planning to create cards for Pirate Day, I originally decided to use pirate themed papers.  I was able to get some at Etsy that were downloadable files, and I didn't think they were too kid-oriented.  I also picked up some downloadable graphics.  I realized after I bought the graphics that they were just too kid oriented to be used in my cards.  So I managed to find some vintage maps from another seller that I decided to use instead.  I also had found a print of a treasure map made for kids that actually looked like something that belonged on one of my cards.  

I started working on the cards, and created one with the red paper and realized - no, this is not my style.  At all.  Perhaps I could have used it as a small accent somewhere but I didn't really like the look.  No picture, sorry, I tossed the card.

In the meantime, I had figured out where I'd hidden my copy of a Dover Publications collection of vintage pirate images.  There's lots of cool stuff in this book and you can find your own copy at Amazon here - you can buy it direct from Amazon or from one of the marketplace sellers, which is what I had done.  One of the cool illustrations I decided to use is this one -  You may recognize it on my brother's card.

My color schemes became mainly blue or brown, mostly brown actually.  I also sourced some vintage photo corners because I wanted to use these illustrations as actual art, and decided it'd be fun to attach them with the vintage corners.  I found those on Etsy too.

Here are one that is actually for sale in my shop, using the treasure map as part of the background.  You can click on the title to see the listing.

Pirates Go On Strike

Another one I created, this time using one of the maps in the background, is this

Pirates Can Knit

This originally was the card I had thought I'd give my brother.  I found the knitting pirate image on Etsy (of course - I find many of my materials there).  Just the thought of a pirate knitting makes me laugh.  I'm actually going to be expanding this piece for a 10x10 inch collage to be shown in a local exhibition (every piece has to be 10x10 inches).

You'll notice gold embellishments in the corners - those I found at Collagestuff.com.  They're German/Dresden foil scrap.  

You can find all of my current pirate related items at my shop in the Quirky Pirate Fun section by clicking here.  

And don't forget - if you meet someone dressed as a pirate - or a real pirate, for that matter -- the proper address is "Ahoy, matie!"  Do not ever call a pirate a "bilge rat" or he/she will be obligated to fight you.  You can find more information at this website. 

ARR!

lin

MESSY!!!!!!!!!!!

I may have mentioned here before that I am a recovering hoarder.  I mean that seriously, in that I have had a severe hoarding issue that I attempted to cure cold turkey when I moved to my current apartment.  Basically, I got rid of 80% or more of what I owned and was brutally ruthless about it.  Left things that I regret not keeping, but overall I'm glad that I did it.

I still do have twinges though.  But that's not the point of this blog.

The great, wonderful, magnificent mixed media guru Seth Apter dared the readers of his blog, The Altered Page to show off their workspaces as they REALLY look.  In other words, messy, cluttered, humming with projects being done.  Here's his blog post today that shares his studio and links to others.

I have taken up the dare.  

Readers of this blog will recall that I have written about my attempts at organizing my working areas previously (here and here, and here too).  Often I do the organizing in an attempt to clear out mental cobwebs, and because quite frankly I can't work when things are way too chaotic.  

I think most artists experience this problem full on.  I don't know too many people who are able to have art-dedicated workspaces, so most of us have to cobble together something that sort of works, some of the time.  Since I live in a very small space, my whole apartment is my studio.  I just happen to live and sleep here.  (which becomes an issue too, when I want to work with things that may cause fumes - I don't really have an area where I can do this without bearing the consequences or causing difficulties)

But enough excuses. 

 I want to show you how messy my space has been - except for one area which is sort of neat, since I haven't used it in a while.  This is the painting area, in my bedroom.  Relatively neat since I haven't been painting much recently.

This, however, is an ever-present aggravation, the entrance to my bedroom, which has 2 tubs of collages on canvas because I have nowhere else to store them.  And of course, the tubs present a spot where I can put more stuff that I need access to.

Then you have the really cluttered area - my parlor, basically, and my kitchen table.  This is where the bulk of my work is created.

My kitchen table tends to be the main greeting card/production area.  Sometimes it's where I eat meals.  If there's space.

I do move things around all the time, and the amount of stuff on the table depends on what I'm doing.  Right now the emphasis is on cards, so I have all my containers with card supplies on the table.

People move in and out of my building all the time, and occasionally they leave stuff behind that's useful.  Like this suitcase rack (I know you can't see it but it's the kind you used to see in hotel rooms - do they still have them?) that I found in the hall of my floor 2 weeks ago.  I immediately found a use for it as you can see.  (Last week I found a small set of shelves that I don't know yet what to do with but I'll find a use, you know I will).

Next to the kitchen table are shelf units that are vital (I get them at Target). They hold the things I'm not working on. I also have taller units in my bedroom that hold supplies.



Then there's the place where I work on collages on canvas, which is incredibly cramped being in the parlor corner and so things get piled on the table when it's not in use and I have to take things off the table when I need to use it.

 
 My computer area, if you want to call it that, is the recliner in the other corner and also my couch.  I'll use the laptop on a TV table, unless Junior decides to sit on it as he's doing in the photo.  

 And, finally, here's the long view, looking towards the windows (of course Junior's still literally on the computer).

To use an overused cliche but it fits - it is what it is.  But you know what? It's fine.  I've worked in cramped spaces all my working artist life and I'm used to it.  I'm not sure what I'd do if I had a huge amount of space.

Actually I do.  I'd fill it up with more art stuff.

Visit Seth's blog today to see links to other working spaces.  I know I'm not the only one out there.

later,
lin