What Can Really Make Me Happy

I like to do housework.

Not everything.  I hate putting dishes away and I'm not particularly fond of washing floors.

I actually like cleaning toilets, and when I was taking part in a rehab program for people with mental illness a couple of years ago, I always volunteered to clean the bathroom when it came time to divvy up chores.  I also love washing dishes - when I was in grad school and having to do volunteer jobs on campus (the school required students to do some form of volunteer work in school departments), one of the things I did was wash dishes in the kitchen.  Loved it.  Especially using the power washer on particularly yucky pots.

Just don't ask me to put them away.  

When I moved to this complex in 2011, one of the things I loved about the place is that it has 2 laundry rooms.  I spent most of my life carting laundry down 3 flights of stairs to take it to the laundromat, most of those years using a cart to bring the laundry there - I don't drive, you see.  In rain, snow, and cold I toddled along, pushing that cart and cursing under my breath.

And I hated the laundromats usually.  Most of them had filthy floors, not so clean folding tables, and half the time many machines didn't work properly.  You weren't always sure that you wouldn't lose your quarters.  If there was an attendant, he or she was usually crabby.  But they were a necessity since I never seemed to live in places where there was a laundry room.  Until now.

Over the past few weeks, though, I've been accumulating items that I just can't wash in our laundry room.  Blankets, for example.  They're bulky things and our washers aren't that big, nor are the dryers.  So I knew I'd eventually have to head to the local laundromat and I dreaded it.

But Thursday became laundry day and off I went with my cart with two bags stuffed with my own clothes and the blankets.  Stopped at the bank to get 2 rolls of quarters, and got to the laundromat and looked around in amazement.

First, it was clean.

And there were tables and chairs for people to sit down. And two lovely couches.

Even playpens, arcade games and a jukebox playing the latest CDs.

I didn't get to take photos of the washers and dryers but trust me - they were amazing.  Huge, clean, didn't smell mildewy like so many do in public laundromats.

I even loved the attendant.  She very nicely showed me how to use the equipment - quite honestly, it was complicated - these are probably very new to the scene.  Certainly, they were quite efficient.  The attendant also showed me the best way to clean my stuff - the best temperature and such.  She told me it was because the management liked to help people save money.  No sense in wasting money on what you didn't need to use.  And she was right.

And I didn't need to get quarters - they use a cash card system.  But the attendant was glad to take my quarters.

Normally you need to put tons of quarters in a public dryer because it usually isn't hot enough to get the clothes dry quickly.  At this place, my clothes were dry in 20 minutes, even the towels and blankets.

I know, I'm crazy to be rhapsodizing over a laundromat.  But those of you familiar with laundromats will understand.

Trust me - this place is gorgeous.  And I'm even thinking about abandoning our laundry room until winter.

later,

lin

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things Part ?

Regular readers of this blog will know that I like to explore Etsy to find cool stuff and share what I've found.  And also point you to cool stuff that you can give to yourself or others.  After all, Christmas is coming, there's always birthdays, weddings, and other occasions, and sometimes it's hard to find just the right, unique, gift for that special person in your life.  Thus, I invite you to check out these four shops, all selling intriguing vintage goods.

One of my favorite vintage and craft shops is BetsStuff, owned by Betsy Durham, which you can find here.  Betsy has a wicked sense of humor and one of the reasons I like her, of course, is because she likes my sense of humor.  One item from her shop that I particularly like is this vintage 45 single.  I've never heard of Peter Pan Records and this was just really interesting to me.  You can find it by clicking on the shop name below the image.

Betsstuff

Our next stop is Goshenpickers, run by Warren and Bev, found by clicking here.  Their shop is a treasure trove of finds that you can't find easily elsewhere.  They also have a great sense of humor.  One of my favorites is this terrific vintage check-writing machine that would be perfect for a collector of vintage office machines (and yes, they're out there).  You'll find other collectibles in this shop that are intriguing and different.  Check out the machine by clicking on the shop name below the image.

Goshenpickers

if you are in the market for fabulous vintage bling, you've got to check out Roxie's SoBejeweled, which you can visit by clicking on this link.  She's got 21 pages of wonderful, sparkly items that will surely please someone on your gift list.  Check out this pin by clicking on the shop name below the photo.  I love how the color is splattered across the leaf.

SoBejeweled

Last, but certainly not least, we're off to GirlPickers, (click on the shop name) run by Tina and Angie.  Home of shabby, industrial, and architectural home decor items, they've recently added a number of vintage Christmas ornaments that can grace your tree.  One trend that's hot right now is using vintage suitcases in home decor, and this is a great example from GirlPickers.  Click on the shop name below the picture to check it out.

GirlPickers

That's it for this week's shopping expedition.  Tune in soon for another installment, and do check out Etsy's vintage shops for unique items that not only will make great gifts but can be added to your home decor and be fun talking points.

later,
lin

A Break in the Action

My life is not exactly exciting.  

I tend to have the same routine most of the time - doctors' appointments, shopping trips, errands, trips to Kinkos/Fed Ex and Staples to make laser copies of things, et cetera.  Occasional restaurant visits too.  

Sunday was a break in the action.

I live in a complex for the elderly and disabled, and the city where it's located will occasionally sponsor special trips to things such as Twin River (the local casino), the Blackstone River for a riverboat tour, and so on.  And it also has been sponsoring band concerts at the various complexes around the city.  

On the 24th the city sponsored a trip to the Botanical Gardens at Roger Williams Park in Providence.  It was the first trip I'd truly been interested in taking, and I was glad that my favorite ex-mother-in-law (who also lives in the complex) wanted to go as well.  

Let's just say that it was balm for the soul.  It's no secret here that I haven't been feeling my best lately, and this excursion was a boost in spirits, if only because it was something DIFFERENT.

But the artist in me reveled in the colors.  I don't know the names of these flowers and plants, but I post them here so that you can enjoy them too.


We discovered this small pool  where people could toss pennies and make wishes.

And there was a koi pond as well, with some rather large fish.  I joked that we wouldn't have to look far for lunch.

But I think one of the best things of all about the trip was spending time with my ex-mom-in-law who is my #2 Mom.  She means a great deal to me, and I think I mean something to her.  God bless you, Lucille Labbe.

later,
lin

The Continuing Saga of...

Thursday was an interesting day.

I'd written the blog post about my supposed lack of art therapy this summer, and I was dealing with the fallout from my weekly therapy session with the wonderful Stacie Cummins McLaughlin (if you're in the Providence area and need a therapist, see her), and I was full of "shoulds" (which I'm trying to change to "coulds" - see what I mean in a future blog post).

Lots of shoulds.  Like what I should do today.  I should hang out at MickeyD's and do some work on my new self portrait project.

 I should get my hair cut (after 2 months of dallying - I really hate getting my hair cut).  

I should go to Staples and get a black ink cartridge.  Blah blah blah. 

 And always, I should make art.

Problem was that I was dealing with repercussions from my therapy session.  It'd been very difficult and I was feeling upset, angry, sad, negative - you get the idea.  I actually do think that if I feel this way after a therapy session it's been a good one.  It means that I've chipped away a bit at the brick wall I'm trapped behind.  

I also should note that this mood was probably not noticeable to people - I'm very good at hiding it.  Too good.

What I did do was get my hair cut, grab some things at Dollar Tree, and pick up 2 things from Stop and Shop - all in the same plaza, handy because I don't drive but use public transport.  Turns out that part of what I got from DT was unnecessary, but that's OK.  And went home and wondered what to do.

Simmering beneath all my recent angst has been the awareness that if I intend to go back to Etsy (not that I really was thinking of leaving but I didn't know what I was going to do), now would be a good time to get ready.

Etsy is a necessary part of my life, I know.  At least for now.  It's where I park my stuff.  Christmas is coming soon, and it'd be nice to make some sales, and it would help if I had new stuff listed.  I have stuff to list now (magnets), photos of work that need to be edited, and a big pile of cards to be made where the foundations are laid already.

In the meantime, I had been getting frustrated with the state of my house.  I had been quite manic in thinking up hundreds of projects that were getting nowhere because I kept distracting myself and not following through.  And they made a big mess on my kitchen table.

Bad Chaos

My ability to work coherently was gone because of the clutter.  My space was disappearing.  What organization I'd had before was gone, and I needed to take charge.

So that's what I did.  And this is the result, after about 3 hours of reorganizing, sifting, tossing, and so on.

Good Chaos

You may ask "What's the difference?"  The difference is that what's on the table is purposed stuff.  In the back is my tub for cards and the calendars I'm making for Christmas gifts.  I have a few of my personal projects handy.  And I changed the table cover.

And I also cleaned out my kitchen closet which was in dire need of some organization.  And Friday I worked on the collage space.  I think that will always be cluttered because it's so small.

Although I still felt depressed and down, seeing a bag of trash and the bag of paper to be recycled swept some of the cobwebs out of my brain and it signaled an accomplishment.  Cleaning is good for the soul - I really believe that.

I'm hoping this will help clean out the crap in my soul too, in a small way.  Getting back to purposeful work may be something I need.  I know I enjoy making the work for sale in the shop.  As Cynthia said in her comment on my Friday post, if I enjoy it then it's therapy.  And I've always believed that.  I just feel, though, that by relying on the tried and true I am not pushing myself to do better.

It's going to be necessary that I learn how to prioritize my art tasks, making sure I have time to make something different, for me.  Work out the details.  Make lists.  Research.  Sort of what Bob Seger says in "Against the Wind:"

Deadlines and commitments,

What to leave in

What to leave out

That is definitely a "should."

later,

lin

Art Therapy Part 2 (or how I don't seem to have done it)

A couple of months ago I wrote about how I had intended this summer to be focused on working through trauma that I've resisted dealing with.  For decades I didn't even admit that the trauma existed, let alone the situations that caused it.

I never wanted to admit that I had endured years of abuse from my father,  abuse that extended into my adult years.  I always felt that I deserved what he put me through,  that I was a stupid, incompetent person (I won't say what he often really called me) incapable of making my own decisions and certainly not worth anything. 

Never mind that I

• Won numerous academic awards in high school and belonged to honor societies
• Wrote for my local newspaper at 16
• Have two bachelor's degrees in history and English
• Hold a master's degree in religious studies
• Have held responsible,  high stress jobs....

Yet, because my father drilled my stupidity into my head, I never felt any of this was important.  In fact, I often would sabotage myself by making mistakes in one way or another.
I don't really want to get too involved in talking about the abuse here just yet, but I have been trying to figure how to work this out.  I've been afraid to really get into what emotions I feel.  

If I even have emotions when it comes to this.

Because I'm afraid I am all too clinical about this.

And as usual, because I am clinical and rigid and...whatever... I was compelled yesterday to 'research' what art by abuse victims is 'supposed to look like.'

Like this, according to Google...

And other similar things.  And I found some fantastic art that didn't seem to be 'about' abuse

(I couldn't find the name of the artist who did this)

And yet I recoil at doing anything that is directly related to what I went through. I would start to collect things that's related and it would sit.  And sit.  And sit.  Gathering dust and cobwebs, as I continue to do my usual collage work.  Unable to really think of doing anything else.

Which isn't a bad thing.  People love the silly collages and the more pensive pieces.  Nothing wrong with that.

But why can't I just let loose and feel like I'm accomplishing something wonderful?  A couple of my friends can't understand this, can't understand why I can't play.

It's a question I can't answer, even though I try to play. 

Someone else did tell me that if I get enjoyment out of what I normally make, then it's therapy.  

But I can't help but think I'm supposed to be doing something else.

Am I?

later,

lin

Christmas Time is Coming - Time to Start Shopping

And you can't go wrong by shopping on Etsy.  Here are some of my favorite things:

HanjiNaty is run by Natalie, a Canadian ex-pat living in Korea.  She works with hanji paper to create wonderful and lovely things, ranging from colorful boxes to earrings.  They are truly works of art and terrific gifts for yourself and others.  You can find her shop by clicking on her shop name.  One of my favorite items is this box.  It's actually hard for me to find ONE item that I like, there are so many lovely things.  To view the listing for this box, click on this link - https://www.etsy.com/listing/168340751/hanji-chest-jewelry-box-with-metal-bee?  (apologies for including the full link - some of the links are not working and I'm not able to edit them).

The next shop I'm visiting is Naughteebits.  As you can guess, this is a fun shop and you probably can find the perfect gift for just about anyone on your shopping list.  One of many favorites in this shop is this Buddha cameo head.  I will be honest - I wouldn't wear it, because I don't wear jewelry in general.  I just think it's cool.  Click on the photo to view the listing.  It's a perfect gift for someone who loves quirkiness.

Next, I'd like to introduce you to MishatheBear, which is dedicated to vintage Russian items, perfect for your favorite Russophile.  You can find children's items, books, postcards, housewares, all quality items found by Michelle and her husband during their trips to Russia.  Check out this vintage Russian card (click on the photo), for example.  So appropriate for back to school.  You can find it at https://www.etsy.com/listing/199873291/vintage-soviet-back-to-school-postcard?  (apologies for including a long link - my link editing on the blog is not working properly this morning)

MishatheBear

Our final stop is is YumYumObjects, run by Cathy Grace and her assistant Ping.  Located in Toronto, Canada, this shop sells gorgeous and beautiful vintage fabrics and buttons that would delight your favorite seamstress.  Once again, there are so many delightful items that it's hard to choose just one to highlight, but I do like this fabric.  You can find it by clicking on the photo.  

 That's the end of another shopping trip.  Watch this space for another collection of fine Etsy shops with great suggestions for Christmas gifts.  Feel free to suggest other shops I should visit by using the contact form at the right of this post, or by leaving a link in the comments section.

Happy Shopping!
later,
Lin

Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

Oh the things I do when I'm avoiding doing art.

• Make beef and tomato soup (Saturday afternoon)
• Change my bed linens (Friday evening)
• Play with cats (every day)
• Play on Facebook (every day)
• Housecleaning (every day)

And the list goes on and on.  I'm sure every artist has avoidance tactics.  Actually, most people have avoidance tactics for anything they don't want to do, are afraid to do or...  For me, it's mostly fear of the blank page, of screwing up, and so on.  I've talked about it here many times.  However, I have managed to create a couple of journal pages - not complete projects - over the past few days, and here they are:


This set of pages came about when I decided to stop avoiding things and actually work on painting.  Rather than do my usual mixing, I used colors straight from the tube and just layered them on.  I wanted to say something about my being afraid to break free from 'rules' when it comes to making art, and I decided to make a Victorian lady say what I was thinking.  I covered her face with a piece of Magic Mesh (a sticky kind of mesh paper) to imply that she was imprisoned.  Not sure that yellow was the right choice, but it's done.

The other page on this spread involves a sweet old lady (I am assuming she's sweet) who firmly believes she's royalty.  Heck - she's got a crown!

The other set of pages started out as an experiment.  This time I did play around with mixing colors and came up with a couple of different greens.  I then decided to use the paint as fixative to put some very delicate white mesh paper on the pages.  It didn't quite come out as I wanted, and I was rather disgusted with the results.

So I made things 'worse' by playing with geometrics.  One page came out OK, I think, but I am regretting the little tiny dot in the circles on the other page - reminds me of nipples, I think.  Part of the problem was that I couldn't find the right size hole punch, and made do with the tiny punch.  Mistake!

Wait - there are no mistakes in art.  Only things you might not want to do again.  

How do you waste time?

later,
lin

I'm Hearing Images, I'm Seeing Songs

Most people who know me know that I am an insatiable lover of music.  And many of those people know that I have amassed a lot of music trivia and factoids that most people really could care less about.

Yes, I will admit that I probably need a 12 step program to ease my addiction to music, but there are indeed worse obsessions, I will argue.

My love of music dates back to childhood when the composer and conductor Leonard Bernstein (a true maestro) would broadcast his program "Young People's Concerts" on Saturdays and later Sundays, and my parents would insist that I watch them.  They didn't have to force me - I was transfixed by the sights and sounds of an orchestra.

Music was always playing in the house.  I remember well the old stereo we had, with the blue case, that was often busy with whatever LPs my dad felt like playing.  The stereo was, for me, a holy thing and it was a great thrill when I was finally allowed to use it myself.  One of my favorite gifts as a child was my very own little portable record player, and I still remember the 45 inch singles I had of songs by Peter Paul and Mary and other artists.

 The very first 45 I bought myself was Elton John's "Your Song," which became the song my ex-husband and I would have danced our first dance to, had we not had to speed up our wedding because we had to move to Syracuse, New York for his job.

Throughout my adult years, music also was a major influence.  It was also a refuge.  When things were really awful at home, I could hide away with my earphones and Walkman (for those who don't remember, a portable tape player and radio made by Sony) or play my music on my own stereo on my room.

Ironically, one of the things that kept me going was also one of the things that drove me to distraction.  For some reason, when I first started having audio hallucinations, it was music that I heard over and over.  Not complete songs, either.  Instead I heard rapid and short bursts of melodies that would change without warning and sometimes repeat itself.  There were pieces I came to hate because they would be a constant backdrop, such as Aaron Copeland's "Appalachian Spring."

It's difficult living with that noise that is almost a constant.  It wasn't just music but also verbal hallucinations where I would hear muffled conversations in the background that were rarely understandable.  None of my physicians have ever been able to figure out where this comes from.  And it's so much a part of my life that, I suppose, I've gotten used to it.

So what do I do to counter it?  More music.  And TV of course.  But mostly music.  It's rare that I don't have something playing in the background.  I go through personal fads - some longer than others.  Much of the time it's classical CDs if I'm not working online.  Mozart, Bach, Mussorgsky, Beethoven, medieval chants all find their way into my CD player.  Other CDs I play frequently include the Indian singer Sheila Chandra, Mumford and Sons, Coldplay, Stan Getz, 1920s jazz, Led Zeppelin, and so on.

And that doesn't even include my Amazon MP3 library which is chock full of everything from classical music to Lady Gaga (only one song by her, though).  I mentioned in a recent Facebook post that my phone's MP3 player had made a weird transition, from Simon & Garfunkel to Van Halen.  I think some people thought that was funny.  I did, anyway.

What's the point of this point?  Simply that my piece of mind AND my creativity are fed by another of the fine arts, music.  

Sometimes I think about what sense I would hate losing the most - sight or sound - and it's a difficult thing to decide.  Being blind would be so difficult because I would not see the sunset or sunrise (if I'm up that early -a  rare thing), I would not see people's faces, and it'd be hard to make stuff.  But hearing - oh to not hear music - that would be horrible.  True, I would have the memory of music I know well to, well, listen to.  But without the external noise to counteract, I can't imagine what I'd do about the other audio hallucinations.

And this is actually a serious question I've asked myself because I am indeed partially deaf in both ears and depend on hearing aids. 

I hope, though, that I won't actually have to answer that question anytime soon.

My love of music does make its way into my work, as in this small wall art canvas that depicts a young violinist at one with her instrument.  It's one of my favorites.  You can find it by clicking on the name below the image

The Violinist

What music are you compelled to listen to?

later,
lin

P.S.  The title of this post is taken from a song by ABBA, called "I Let the Music Speak"

Time to Do Some Shop Hopping

As you know, I love to rummage through Etsy shops to find treasures, and I have four shops I'd like to highlight today.

We'll first visit Lisa Busch's Collage Stuff shop where you can find art on canvas and specialty printed papers that she made with a Gelli Plate that can be used for projects.  We are friends and I was fortunate to receive a small stash of printed papers as a gift.  I also am the proud owner of one of the canvases she sold in the shop.  This is another I particularly like

Collage Stuff

Lisa also sells collage and mixed media art supplies at her online store, Collage Stuff which you can find by clicking here.

Next, we're traveling over to All Thingz Sewn, run by Tania Connor.  Her shop is brand new and she's starting to add some really cute things that I think you'll enjoy.  This is one of the items in her shop that I like a lot

All Thingz Sewn

Click on the shop name below the photo to check out this cute frog.

Now we're heading over to North Carolina and vintage style, at Gypsum Moon Style, a great shop with vintage clothing and jewelry that can definitely liven up your wardrobe.  Owned by Cynthia and Kay Pepper-Jones, you'll find all kinds of treasures here - like this one

Gypsum Moon Style

I like it because I know I wore dresses like this one in my early career, and I really love the color.  It won't fit me, otherwise I just might buy it.  There's tons more cool clothing in the shop, so I hope you'll visit it.   You can find this particular dress by clicking on the shop name below the photo.

And last, but definitely not least, is the shop where I buy lots of the paper I use in my cards and collages, 32 North Supplies.  This shop is amazing.  Just the paper alone is enough for a collage or mixed media artist to pay a visit, let alone the other fabulous items for sale.  Right now I'm trying to decide what new papers I want to add to my stash, and one of them might be this design

32 North Supplies

The papers are from European nations such as Italy, and they are just colorful and lovely.  You can check out this particular item by clicking on the shop name below the photo.

And this is a card in my shop that features one of 32 North's papers in its design - 

Find this card by clicking here

That concludes this week's treasure hunt.  Before long, I'll highlight another four shops with wonderful items you'll love.

Feel free to suggest shops I should visit by leaving a comment.
later,
lin

Making More Process

A lot of the work I've been doing lately has been hit or miss, not really with any aim to it, but I have tried to be creatively active.  And with the stresses of technology bailing on me, I'm finding that I have to start creating more to deal with pressure.  There's also been a few medical and psychiatric ups and downs over the past few weeks that have done their best to interfere.

That said, I wanted to share the process of creating a collage that may or may not be for sale.  Not sure yet what I want to do with it.

This particular piece is an update of something I did several years ago that was, quite frankly, bad. And yet I decided to show it in an exhibition featuring work that was 10x10 inches in size.  When I visited the show and saw that piece in the company of others, I wanted to take it right off the wall so that no one else would see it.  I didn't even go to the reception or tell anyone I knew when the reception would happen because I didn't want them to see how bad it was.

Of course I am my own worst critic.  But trust me - it was BAD.  And of course I took it apart as soon as I got it back in my hot little hands.

Of course some may think this one isn't so hot, but I like it.

And so we begin.

This canvas was originally a piece honoring my home city.  But I realized that it was a disaster, and destroyed it, and eventually decided to use this 11x14 canvas for something else.  I covered it with dark blue banana paper because there were remnants of the previous collage still affixed to the canvas.  And it sat for a bit because I didn't know what I wanted to do.  Then I picked it up and started affixing the papers you see in the photo.  I didn't like the look of the banana paper, you see.

I then took some clips from vintage Catholic newspapers that I'd found on Etsy and Ebay, and added those, plus strips of gold foil Dresden scrap.  

I put the little Catholic scapular piece in the lower right corner, not sure if it was going to stay there, then added more pieces, including an old rosary, a photo from my First Communion.

On the left you can see a closeup of the rosary - which I think is probably meant to be a child's rosary.  On the right is a Virgin Mary medal that I purchased from collagestuff.com.

And I also added a tiny little figurine of the Virgin Mary

And here's a closeup of that photo.  I am the third little girl and am looking at the camera held by my father, probably.  Behind me is my then best friend Laurie.  And of course the nun in old habit - this was 1967 and the order that taught in our school had not yet converted to a modern habit.

So, because the nun in the photo is in the old habit, I chose for my main character a Victorian etching of a nun.  I do like how she's looking down and has a enigmatic expression on her face.

Both this collage, and the one that I thought was really bad, are homages to my ever present struggle with Catholicism.  I still consider myself to be most comfortable worshipping as a Catholic, but like many others of my age group I do have issues with certain aspects of Church doctrine.

In any event, I meant the piece to be a quiet commentary on Catholicism, and it's personally meaningful to me.  Which is why I'm not sure I'll ever offer it for sale.

If you are a religious person, does your faith find its way into your work?

later

lin