When you think about it, all holidays are invented, even Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, and Independence Day.
Christmas was established by the mid 4th century as the celebration of Jesus' birth, although the exact date remained flexible for centuries to come. Even now, the Orthodox church's celebration of Christmas and Easter occur on dates different from the rest of Christianity although in the same period of time.
The first Thanksgiving was reportedly celebrated by the Pilgrims to thank their Indian allies (so to speak) for helping them survive in the New World. Of course the Pilgrims showed their thanks in other ways by transmitting illnesses for which their new friends had no immunity, and by other fun things. The date was fixed to the 4th Thursday in November by Abraham Lincoln, although it didn't become an official holiday until Reconstruction in the 1870s. Other countries also celebrate days of thanksgiving, including our neighbor Canada.
So, basically, these and other national holidays are invented days, much like Mothers Day and Father's Day. They are not days established by the greeting card industry (nor is Valentine's Day by the way) to sell cards. Anna Jarvis campaigned for years to establish an official American holiday to honor mothers, a quest which was rewarded by President Woodrow Wilson in 1914. Days honoring mothers had been celebrated for millenia, by the way. We weren't the first.
When it came to a day just for Dad, that was much more difficult. An actual Father's Day holiday wasn't established in the U.S. until the presidency of Richard Nixon. However, the idea had been bandied about since 1910 or so, when the Mother's Day movement was picking up steam. It met opposition, however, from those who did view it as merely a money-making campaign for companies that manufactured and sold menswear, tools, etc. The intent behind the day, however, was to honor fathers just as mothers were. Other countries also have Father's Day celebrations, just as they do for mothers.
I do hate the proliferation of advertising for gifts and cards for Dad, as I do for other holidays like Christmas, Easter, Valentines Day, and Mother's Day. But I have no problem with a special day for moms and for dads. In fact, they should be celebrated year round, not just on one day a year.
Then again, if you have parents who didn't act like parents, it becomes more difficult for their children to celebrate. No parent is perfect, but there are far too many who wouldn't qualify for "Parent of the Year."
In my case, I haven't known what to do about Father's Day for several years. When my father was alive, it was obligatory to honor him on Father's Day but I tended to do that with my fingers crossed behind my back. The year after he died was when I first started to be honest with myself about what a horrid father he'd been to the three of us. An abusive sociopath, in fact. And I don't exaggerate. Before his death I lived in a sort of Stockholm Syndrome situation in which hostages start to sympathize with their captors. Which most people wouldn't believe, but it sadly was the case.
So Father's Day is very painful for me as you can guess.
But rather than focus on that, I would rather think about the guys I've known who have been amazing dads and who are adored by their children. And that's a lovely thing.
Happy Father's Day!
later,
lin
